Love Lessons: Visualize Your Mate


Many of you have reached out recently expressing quarantine fatigue which is compounded by being single. You have a deep desire for someone to navigate this period of fear and frustration. You can only do so many zoom calls with friends to make up for the fact that you’re solo all day every day. And dating apps have lost their allure with the possibility that you may not be able to meet in person for weeks or even months.

So this month, we are going to have a completely different format from the usual Dates & Mates. This series is designed to take you deeper on a mental, spiritual, and even physical level to design the love life you want. This unexpected break from the rat race of love and life we had been caught in is giving us an opportunity to get clarity and explore parts of ourselves that had been buried away.

Today Damona invites you to begin a four-part journey with us called  Love Lessons. Today’s lesson is a visualization exercise.



Damona  0:12

Hello lovers, welcome to dates and mates. I can’t believe it. But we are coming to the end of our seventh season of the show. And to close out the season, we have a special micro series called love lessons, which consisted of an interview last week. And three special mind body and spirit love lessons for the remainder of the month. If you’re new to the show,

Damona  0:39  


Damona  0:40  

But I want to advise you that this isn’t the regular format, which usually includes headlines, interviews and q&a. So if you’re new, I encourage you to go back and listen to some additional episodes from this season first and then come back and join me for this unusual podcast experience for Those of you who already know the show, and are ready to go deeper with me, I want you to join me for this three episode exploration into your mind, body and spirit as it relates to love. Let’s go. Today we’re going to do a visualization to help you see your ideal mate. You can use this as a meditation or tool anytime you need clarity and focus in your dating life, or as a regular weekly meditation to train your mind to see this person when they cross your path. So now I want you to turn off all other distractions. You can do this with your eyes closed if you’re in a place where you can sit or lie down. Or you can do it as a walking, hiking, running, maybe even driving meditation. If you’re not somewhere that you can sit and stop moving,

Damona  1:51  

but just be careful.

Damona  1:54  

And the important thing is that you find a sense of quiet if you’re not big into meditation, That’s okay. I’ve studied yoga for 20 years. And I’ll be honest that only in the last one or two years has meditation made its way into my life in a regular and meaningful way.

Damona  2:12  

So you just start where you are,

Damona  2:15  

and you don’t need to be an expert.

Damona  2:17  

There’s no good or bad way to meditate or

Damona  2:19  

visualize. I used to think I was a bad meditator if thoughts float in, but you have to remember that you’re human, and you will never cease your brain from thinking. So just allow yourself to go on a journey with me and let your brain float without judgment of what you’re thinking what you’re doing, what you should be doing or what you want the outcome to be. Just be for the next few minutes. I just want you to be right here with me, letting my voice guide you to unexpected places. Get a comfortable seat and take a deep breath in

Damona  3:01  

And out.

Damona  3:04  

You are here. You’re here with me. And we’re going to take a journey into your future. But to get to the future, first we’re going to start in the present. How does your body feel right now? Are you tired, achy, or tense? Are you relaxed and at ease? Take another breath in. And imagine yourself shedding any worries of the day that you’ve been holding on to those worries of the past that get stuck in our bodies, and they keep us from being present or from moving into the future, which is what we’re going to do today. So in this moment, there are no worries. There’s only you and me,

Damona  3:51  

and this trip we’re going to take

Damona  3:52  

so let it go.

Damona  3:56  

Now I have something to share with you.

Damona  3:59  

No big deal. But I have a time travel portal. This portal is a powerful tool because I can let you through it anytime you want. And you can go visit your future with just the power of your mind. In fact, you can even borrow the portal whenever you want, and go visit your future self. This time machine portal looks like an ordinary door, but it has the power to unlock the life you want. So in your mind, I want you to picture the door right now. Imagine it

Damona  4:34  

what feelings come up for you as you look at it,

Damona  4:38  

approach it and as you walk up to it,

Damona  4:42  

it opens on its own

Damona  4:45  

and the other side of it is bright and inviting. I want you to take a step closer

Damona  4:54  

and now taking another deep breath

Damona  4:58  

and exhale as you will walk

Damona  5:00  

through it.

Damona  5:02  

Now you’re standing on the other side, and you’re bathed in a white light as you travel with me into your future, this light is taking away the past ideas that you have had about yourself, the prior wounds that you’ve carried from relationship to relationship, the threads that tether you to the past watches they’re all floating away in that white light. And now, another door appears in front of you. Don’t worry, this one isn’t a magic portal. This is your front door, the front door of your home one year in the future. The white light is giving way to color and you could see your home or your apartment door clearly in front of you. This is your door one year in the future so it may not look Like the front door you currently have. But that familiar feeling of coming home after a long trip, it washes over you right now. Can you stand in front of the door, happy to be there. Maybe you’re flooded with a mix of emotions. You’re standing there one year in the future, at the door of your future home with your future partner.

Damona  6:26  

You ready to meet this person.

Damona  6:30  

You move forward to the door and it opens up

Damona  6:34  

and your home is sparkling clean Of course, and bright and you instantly feel at ease in the space. But you know you’re not alone here. Your partner has been waiting for you. You call out to him or her.

Damona  6:51  

And after a few moments, this person comes to greet you.

Damona  6:55  

Here you are a year in the future. Living with your dream. partner, they approach you and say hello. And then your love wraps their arms around you to welcome you home. You smell their smell? You feel their embrace. You hear their voice?

Damona  7:16  

How does it feel?

Damona  7:19  

How does it feel to be held by the person who have waited for so long to meet? How does it feel to be surrounded with love?

Damona  7:32  

What does their hug tell you about them?

Damona  7:37  

look into their eyes.

Damona  7:40  

What do you know about them from gazing at them? Now that you’ve been together and you know one another on a deep level, what do you simply understand from the way he or she looks at you? How does this person make you feel?

Damona  7:57  

How do you feel right now?

Damona  8:01  

Stare deeper into their eyes until you can feel their heart.

Damona  8:09  

What does this person believe?

Damona  8:13  

How are their values aligned with yours? Don’t think and feel it?

Damona  8:23  

What does this person want from life?

Damona  8:28  

What do they dream of creating with you?

Damona  8:32  

How does it feel to be in their presence? Do you feel supported? Do you feel stimulated? Do you feel relieved? What does this person bring into your life that you’ve never had before?

Damona  8:50  

As you step out of the hug,

Damona  8:51  

you prepare

Damona  8:53  

to speak to them. And this is a private conversation between only you and your love. You open your mouth and the words you’ve been waiting and wanting to say finally come out. And only you know what these words are. Try to remember them as they will stay with you after we’ve left this place.

Damona  9:22  

What does your partner say in return?

Damona  9:30  

Hold on to those words.

Damona  9:34  

What else do you want to share with your

Damona  9:35  


Damona  9:37  

I’ll give you a moment to lose yourself in this personal conversation. If you prefer to stay quiet and just be with your partner, that’s okay too. This is your time.

Damona  10:16  

You and your partner both signs that it’s time for the visit to end. So you begin to say your goodbyes, but it’s not Goodbye forever, because you’ll see them in real life very soon. Take a moment to send your partner off. Get a last look at this person for now and take in what it’s like to be with this person. How has it felt to share space with your soulmate?

Damona  10:47  

Is there anything else you need to say to them before you go

Damona  10:53  

give them one last kiss or a hug

Damona  10:56  

as it’s time to depart and come back through the portal.

Damona  11:02  

You walk back through your front door

Damona  11:06  

and step out again into the strong white light. It envelops you with the feeling you had of being with your love. And it reminds you that you can take this feeling with you. Even though you are not yet with that partner in the present, the feeling of being with them can linger. That feeling will signify when you have met this person. And you will feel that same feeling in the present when you and your partner cross paths.

Damona  11:36  

But until that time,

Damona  11:37  

you can take your feelings along with

Damona  11:40  

you and the personal words that you and your partner shared. The white light is now starting to give way to the shape of the magical portal in front of you. Gather your thoughts and feelings up like luggage as you prepare to cross through the portal. into the present. And remember that you can take along, anything that you want to come with you. And then anything that you want to leave behind can remain here in the white light. Anything that you need to release that is not serving you can be left behind

Damona  12:18  

anything that was a hitchhiker from the past

Damona  12:21  

that doesn’t belong in your future. You can leave it at the door and your burden will be relieved. Only cross that magical portal with the things that you want to take with you.

Damona  12:38  

Do you have what you need?

Damona  12:42  

And then it’s time to come back to the now.

Damona  12:46  

Step through the door and meet me back in the present moment. As you stand on the presence side of the portal, the awareness of your body is starting to return Feel your feet grounded to the earth. Feel your fingers tingling, you can wiggle them a bit. Breathe. You can stretch yourself out and take in another deep breath grounding yourself in the present moment. You are back in the here and now. But you’re not alone. You have the memories of the future you’re building

Damona  13:27  

along with you.

Damona  13:30  

If your eyes are closed, you can begin to flutter them open slowly.

Damona  13:35  

And again, you are here.

Damona  13:40  

Now that this journey is fresh in your mind, you can choose to write down anything that you wish to remember about your trip. Any feelings or impressions about your future mate that you want to record. You can write them down now. And remember that this visualization is always here for you. Anytime you need to tell some thing to your future partner, you can take this journey with me again, or go through that portal on your own. The first step in finding your ideal mate is to know what you’re looking for, and get into the feeling of being with this person. You need clarity on the qualities and values of your ideal partner before you can design a plan to find this person. But it’s most important that you develop the faith that they are out there for you and the connection to bring them into your life. Look for that feeling that you had in the embrace you shared a moment ago. That feeling will be repeated when you’re with your ideal match. This is the first step of three on a mind body and spirit journey. This visualization is your mental journey. Next time we will go on an exploration of the body that will open you up to love. Thank you so much for listening and thank you For taking this time for yourself. On August 3, season eight of dates and mates will begin. I have a super, super, super, super, super special guest for you for that show and I cannot wait to reveal who this person is. Soon. Not yet but soon. In the meantime, I would love to hear your reaction to these special love lessons episodes. You can message me on social media. I’m at Dimona Hoffman, or you can send me an email Dimona at damona Hoffman calm, the link will be in the show notes. In closing, I humbly ask you to support the show through Patreon. I wanted to bring you these love lessons without any ad interruptions in the middle. So it will help me to continue to make dates and mates free for so many. If you can pledge just $5 a month to support the show. In addition to the special video trainings and discounts on my future programs and access to my library of older data mates episodes. I’m also adding videos within the Patreon Friends with Benefits Facebook group that will give you a behind the scenes take on recent dates and mates episodes, and it will include live private q&a with me. So I encourage you to please join the community for only $5 at slash dates and mates again, that link will also be in the show notes. Thank you so much for your support. I am so appreciative for the recent five star reviews. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. If you can think of a friend who could use this week’s visualization. Please do share this episode with them. Until next week, I wish you happy dating