Collage of a couple doing exercises at a gym

Any couples counselor on the planet can tell you that one of the most important factors in any date, relationship or marriage comes down to communication. Being able to express yourself around a significant other determines the success or failure of a date, but sometimes you have a date when you cannot or should not do too much talking. When silence is golden, make sure your date appreciates your company.

At A Concert

Whether you want to go with a date to a concert where tens of thousands of screaming fans have packed the venue or you want to go to the city’s symphony, bonding over a shared love of music can be a great first (or second or third) date. Some concerts allow you to scream your head off, but many more require silence as part of the etiquette. Some jazz bars demand silence from the patrons but encourage applause or nodding along to the beat. You can express yourself with your date by acting in tandem with the music, whether by tapping a foot or full-out dancing, whenever you cannot make your voice heard.

At The Theater

Between the first monologue and the intermission comes a lot of dead air for a couple at the theater. A major play from a well-reviewed acting troupe can be a pleasure to take in, but talking during a show almost always is verboten. Once you decide to get tickets for Broadway and take in a musical, play or opera, how do you communicate? Nonverbal communication goes a long way in a dark, quiet theater. Point out certain details with a subtle gesture to avoid blocking the view of other patrons, and show your date that you can pick up on small details. Make eye contact during emotional moments, like a laugh or a sad aria. Show restraint in turning a date’s attention to other people in the crowd, since this can appear mean.


Some dates restrict your conversation because of circumstance, but a workout date restricts your ability to gab because you are breathing too hard. A shared interest in exercise and health can be a great idea for a date, whether you are rock climbing, ballroom dancing or just taking a yoga class. Fitness Magazine suggests going on workout dates with a “sweatheart.” Instead of talking about life, work and hobbies, use words sparingly to give instructions or support so that you two can work together as a team. The payoff can be great, since workouts release endorphins that elevate mood and create positive memories.

Taking A Class

Some date-friendly classes encourage a lot of talking. A night drama class, for instance, is nothing but talking. On the other hand, some require only terse conversation or conversation in a different language. Create a Cook offers a date night course where couples work together to make everything from salads to souffle. Here, you have to discuss getting the ingredients together and making the finished product, instead of interests and experiences. Likewise, a foreign language course makes you communicate, albeit in a very unfamiliar tongue.


This piece is written by guest blogger Mary Gilligan. Mary is a certified life coach who blogs about family, relationships and healthy living.

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