A picture of a young couple with a present in the park


We all have those quiet moments of high expectations when it comes to our idea of a perfect Valentine’s Day gift. I’ll let you in on a little secret: there are ways to set your beau up to pick out exactly what you want- but sometimes it can backfire. Here are the pros and cons of the 5 most-common tactics for getting the Valentine’s Day gift you actually want.





1. The Subtle Hints Strategy
You don’t want to have to tell your man what you’re thinking. If he really loves you, he should just be able to figure it out.
PRO: You can stay your sweet unassuming self.
CON: Men do not understand subtlety. Not only does he not understand the message that you’re sending him, he isn’t even aware that you’re sending a message.

2. The Visual Message Maneuver
You casually leave your computer open to the online shopping cart with just the gift you want for Valentine’s Day.
PRO: Showing is always more effective than telling if he can see exactly want you want, he just might get the right thing.
CON: Unless you explicitly say that this is the gift you want, he still might not get the point. See Subtle Hints Strategy above.

3. The Casual Mention Method
While watching Entertainment Tonight together you see a celebrity is wearing just the kind of necklace you want.
PRO: Showing your emotion around a potential gift may move him to take action so he too can evoke that same feeling within you.
CON: He’s not paying attention during Entertainment Tonight. Nancy O’Dell’s voice sounds like the teacher in Charlie Brown to him. He didn’t even see the celebrity you mentioned – and even if he did see her, he has no idea who she is or where to get that necklace in his budget.

4. The Sly Shopping Setup
Somehow you manage to drag your man to the mall. While walking through a department store you sample a perfume, have him smell it on you, and tell him how much you love it.
PRO: It’s clever of you to try to use all of the five senses to persuade him… and smell is the sense that is most tied to memory.
CON: When is he ever going to get back to the mall by himself?

5. The Point Blank Plan
Fed up with years of depressing presents you just say, “Honey, this year I would like X.”
PRO: He’s thrilled that you finally just told him what you were thinking.
CON: He heard you loud and clear, then he forgot and since you were so clear and direct now he’s embarrassed to ask you what it was.

We all communicate in different ways. If the strategy you’ve used in the past didn’t yield the gift you wanted for Valentine’s Day, try a different tack. You just might get the perfect present. Or you might get chocolates and roses…again.

If you are still looking for a Valentine, it’s not too late to find one. Let Dating Expert Damona Hoffman show you how at DatesandMates.com.

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