How To Drastically Improve Your Life in 20 Minutes a DayTomorrow is the National Day of Relaxation, and I’m sure we could all use just one more day to take a break from our hectic day-to-day. If you’re stressed out and your energy is out of whack, more than likely your dating life looks pretty similar. Your outlook and mental state account for the majority of your experience in the world. Here are 7 unique ways that anyone can improve not just their love lives but their lives in general in just 20 minutes (or less) a day.


Whether through meditation, visualization, or prayer, take a few moments to picture what you want out of your life that day. Many times a client comes to me and I ask him or her to describe the person they would like to meet and all I get is a blank stare. You must first know your destination before you start on the path.

Go Bird By Bird

My philosophy and yoga teacher always emphasized the lesson from Anne Lamott’s book “Bird By Bird”. Do not focus on the ultimate goal (which in this book was for a child to write a report on every species of bird in a day). Just focus on the task in front of you – that one bird. We all know that multi-tasking is a myth. Try to give the one thing you’re doing total focus and you will keep yourself from feeling overwhelmed and complete your “to do” list more quickly.

Clear the Clutter

When your space is cleaner you mind will feel cleaner as well. Even if you just have 20 minutes you can do the dishes, put away toys, or clean out your inbox at work. Finding a place for everything will not only help you feel clearer but it will save you the stress of running around the house searching for your keys when you’re late for an appointment.

Plan Your Day

In my previous life as a television executive, I remember feeling like a ping pong ball bounced from meeting to meeting and exhausted at the end of the day with a million things still left on my agenda. Start your day with a 10 minute planning session. Figure out what you can delegate, what can be left for tomorrow, and how you can block your time out to be as efficient as possible.

See Food as Fuel

What you put into your body relates directly to your mental state and productivity. Start with the sun – that’s pure energy and we see it’s effects by observing plants thriving outdoors or in a bright room. Then we (and the animals we eat) consume the plants that the sunlight grew. The further you get from that original source, the more your food is losing energy. Therefore, eating processed foods, canned vegetables, and low-grade meats from poorly fed animals isn’t going to make you feel too peppy. Summer and fall are a great time to spend 20 minutes seeing what is actually in season at your local farmers market (many people have no idea what is coming from their local farms and what has been shipped thousands of miles and colored to look fresh.)

Connect with People

Between computers, smart phones, and cars, our lives are becoming increasingly more solitary. When I began dating my husband I noticed that he always took a moment to recognize the cashier at the grocery store or the teller at the bank. Just asking, “How are you?” when a telemarketer calls and realizing that they are just a person doing a job and that they have feelings too. Or asking the cab driver what his day has been like instead of clicking out text messages can not only make your life more interesting but also will help you feel more connected to your community.

Express Gratitude

We spend so much time worrying about what we don’t have. What if you instead focused on the abundance in your life? As an assignment to many of my clients, I request that they keep a gratitude journal. This is one word, one sentence, one paragraph, or one page that you write each day about the things in life you are grateful for. Rather than dwelling on what you don’t have your life will feel fuller as you focus on the things you do have.


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