Does being friends first help when finding your soul mate?
The recent announcement of Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis’ engagement after being co-stars, friends, and then lovers begs the question is there someone you’ve passed over who could make a potential great mate?
Kutcher and Kunis worked with each other for many years while on ‘That ’70s Show’ with fellow actress Laura Prepon, who is now rumored to be dating mega-celebrity Tom Cruise after knowing each other for many years in the Scientology circuit. Could this be the long-lasting relationship Cruise has been seeking? Almost all of his former lovers and wives had joined Scientology after meeting, but Prepon has a leg up since she’s been with the church for years. Thus showing that, while timing definitely plays a part in sparking an attraction, proximity can even further the potential.
When searching for a soul mate you should always create a list of must-haves. I always tell my clients to start with 12 things that you are looking for in a potential mate. From there, cut the the list in half to the things that are most important. And then, from there, cut that list down to three essential must-haves for a potential mate. These will be the core values and morals you want in someone, not just the aesthetic, “must be rich” or “must be blond” bullshit that really doesn’t define someone as a person. These three must-haves will probably end up being something more like, “Gets along with their family” or “loves what they do.” If a potential mate does not possess these qualities, you know not to waste your time on them. This is where being friends first can best come into play.
Take Laura Prepon and Tom Cruise’s rumored relationship. Like it or lump it, obviously Scientology is important to both of them. Why Tom had not thought about dating within the church before is beyond me, but with core values like that, it seems he’s catching up to his must-haves in a mate. So maybe there’s someone that you know, that you’ve passed over before, that possesses these important qualities but perhaps they’re a few years older or are two kids in and divorced. Qualities that you weren’t entirely seeking out, but that aren’t necessarily deal-breakers either. Love is never perfect, so you shouldn’t try to put perfection on your partner, so who better than friends understand the importance of unconditional love?
Take my client Emir. Last summer he had gone through one of my programs in hopes of meeting a match. After taking a long hard look at what it was he wanted in a woman, he found that the lady he had in mind came in the form of one of his close friends. With newfound confidence from my program, Emir gained the courage to ask out this friend who said yes! Months later and I’m happy to report that Emir and his lady are still going strong!
So, whether you’re online dating (something that the future Mrs. Kutcher said “If I didn’t do what I do, I would do Internet dating instead of going out to bars. In two seconds I would. It makes so much more sense.”) or if you ARE going out to bars to try and meet people, maybe it’s time you took a look at those people closest to you and you might have a lot more options for a date night than you previously thought.
If you feel like you’re out of ideas on how to go from a single to double, get my 35-audio program on How to Get 7 Dates in 7 Days. Learn 7 new ways to meet that special someone and increase your chances in love! Plus my special workbook will help you manifest your goals on the page.