With most of our lives out on display through social media, we’ve started to become a society that has a lot less filter and more speaking without thinking. A quick browse through your Facebook and Twitter can give everyone a sense of what you’re interested in and even who you plan to vote for in the upcoming elections. However, there are some topics that shouldn’t be initiated on a first date- unless you plan on not expecting a second one. So, here’s some insight on the four topics you absolutely want to avoid if you want to see your potential beau again.
Politics—You’d think “duh” to this one but still many first dates go political real fast. From recycling to carbon footprints to Hillary and Obamacare, political conversation—much like shit—happens. So while there are plenty (well, a handful) of famous political opposites who have managed to make it work like James Carville and Mary Matalin, it is one of the more challenging differences of opinion to overcome. Political leanings are often engrained through culture, parenting, and peer group and, since old voting habits die hard, the tendency when we meet someone of a different political background is to begin a debate with the ultimate hope of changing their mind. There’s a time and a place for these kind of conversations but a first date is definitely not one of them. If a conversation starts to turn left OR right, back away coyly by discussing the venue your in, the drink you’re drinking, or flirt your head off. Any way you do it, get out of politics FAST.
Religion – For most of my clients, religion plays a factor in their decision about who to marry but it’s not always a deal-breaker, which is how it should be when you’re looking for a potential partner. But still, if religion IS number one on your ‘desired values’ list and you’re online dating (which is another thing you should be doing if you’re looking for a potential partner) a niche site (i.e. JDate, ChristianMingle) will probably serve you better than a mixed pool like Match. In any case, regardless if you meet on JDate or OKCupid, you still shouldn’t bridge the religion subject with your date. That’s something that’s tradition, history, family. All too serious for an introductory drink. Talk about the zoo, funny grade school stories, play pool, but leave the body of Christ to Sundays at Mass.
Money – Aside from not having any idea why in the world someone would EVER mention how much they make on a first date, I live in LA and I know it’s definitely been done. One fear that my successful male clients have about online dating is that they’re going to meet golddiggers who are more attracted to their wallets than they are to them. And on the flip side, some successful males feel like that’s the only way they’re going to attract a woman of quality. Both are completely fixable thought processes. The solution? Aside from the fact that there’s no reason to reveal how much you make NOR is it ever appropriate ask your date about their paycheck or how they spend it, remind yourself money is the NUMBER ONE thing that married couples fight about. So why start that now?
Old Relationships – I can’t say this enough: Leave your baggage at the door. Your date is not a shoulder to cry on about the guy or girl who broke your heart last. They don’t want to hear about a cheating ex and your trust issues. A first date does not care if your last beau went gay. All they want to know is you and whether or not they want to see you again. Which is the point of first date: To get to the second, the third, and so on ’til death do you part. So not only should you not talk about a past relationship on a first date but you should also keep your tongue off the shortcomings of your ex-flame and avoid measuring this current date you’re sitting across from against anyone else in any way.
First dates are an opportunity for a fresh start. But if you still need help getting to first dates to happen read THIS article to get those messages cluttering your inbox with people of QUALITY.