Many of my online dating clients tell me that the most daunting thing about a first date is managing a good conversation. Being a good conversationalist isn’t really something that can be taught from a book. However, the best way to groom yourself to be good at talking is to be good at listening. Chances are, the other person has said something you want to know more about. So, ask them a direct and specific question about that.
Also, everyone loves to talk about him or herself. It would be great if you can get the other person talking about something they like. Remember, they may be just as nervous as you are. If they are having a good time sharing their stories… guess what? That often translates as you being more interesting. They just associate the good feelings with you, not necessarily with what they’ve said.
You may have heard me say it before, but I always tell people who are serious about dating to date like it’s your job. Which means that there may need to be a little research to be done from time to time. So, be sure to study the profile of the person you’re meeting before the date. It allows you a shortcut into their life and lets them know you’re interested.
One of the best ways to feel confident on a date, is to feel prepared. So, as you prepare for your date, go armed with a few preset topics that can help keep conversation flowing. To get you started, here are 9 first date conversation starters that are sure to help you keep the conversation interesting and informative.
- What kind of work do you do? What is most exciting about your job? Did you expect to be doing that when you were younger?
- Where did you grow up? Go to school? What did you study?
- Do you play any sports? Did you play any when you were a kid? Do you follow sports now?
- What is your favorite hobby? What do you do when you aren’t working?
- Do you have a favorite kind of music? Musician? What’s on your iPod?
- Do you have a favorite kind of food? If you were trapped on a desert island with only one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- Do you have any pets? Wish you had any?
- Have you traveled much? Where? Where do you dream about traveling to one day?
- Are you much of a reader? Who’s your favorite author? What book are you reading now?
These topics are safe and simple, but they will give you insight into who your date really is. So relax, don’t worry, get out there and get to know someone new.