thumb-span2-974You’re single and ready to mingle, but you can’t seem to seal the deal.

In my nearly 10 years as a dating coach, I’ve discovered this means you’re in one of two categories. You’re either a “Watcher” or a “Pusher.”

Watchers are the quintessential nice guys. They’re so afraid of offending a girl, being rejected or getting a drink tossed in their face that they won’t make the initial approach.

With online dating, many Watchers don’t have to practice that skill of going up to a woman in public without any expectation or fear.

On the other hand, Pushers have no problem making the approach, but they aren’t reading the subtle signals from a woman that show they are coming on too strong.

Whether you’re a Watcher, a Pusher or somewhere in between, if girls aren’t sleeping with you, here are seven possible reasons why:

1. Your body language is off.

You don’t know if she likes you, so you play it cool – so cool that it puts you in the dreaded “friend zone” after your first date.

Casually touching her hand or shoulder, particularly at a time when she doesn’t expect it, can make her see you in a different way.

2. Your place is a pigsty.

Sorry, but women aren’t turned on by a sink full of dishes or week-old potato chips stuck between the couch cushions.

If you think you might end up back at your place, clean and deodorize before you leave the house.

3. You don’t dress sexy.

When you’re on a date, you have to find the balance between looking stuffy and looking sloppy.

If you’re coming right from work, take off the tie and undo the first button of your shirt so she knows you’re there for pleasure, not business.

Even though the other guys may look casual at the bar, you’ll stand out if you kick it up a notch – even just by adding a sharp, tailored blazer over your T-shirt and jeans.


“Showing your player’s card doesn’t

work for a girl who could have any guy.”


4. You bore her.

Women are tired of going out on cookie-cutter dates. Asking her the basic interview questions like, “What do you do for work?” or “How many siblings do you have?” will ensure that you fade into obscurity.

Instead, ask questions that require an emotional response or a story like, “What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you as a kid?” or “What was your first concert?”


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