I thought we were hitting it off until suddenly the guy I was talking to online just stopped responding.
Can you identify with this? Of course it doesn’t just happen to women, it happens to men too. At one point everything seems to be going well with the person that you met online, and then overnight it seems like they have completely fallen off the face of the earth. This can leave even the most confident person questioning themselves.
The truth is, the ease of technology has greatly aided in the disintegration of communication in dating. However, as someone who met my husband online, I feel confident that these challenges can be overcome. To better understand this evasive behavior, here are 6 reasons your online date suddenly ceases contact:
1. Out of sight, out of mind
Much like the ‘Seinfeld’ episode where Elaine and her neighbor dwindle their hellos down to head nods and eventually radio silence, giving someone you barely know attention that requires any further effort can become tedious. Instead of opening up the communication lines and being honest, it’s easier to cut the cord instead of saying, “I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
2. They never have to see you
A profile photo is one of hundred of thousands online leaving the chances of you ever bumping into someone that you’re spoken with through a dating site about as good as winning the California lottery. With odds like that, all decorum goes out the window.
Some online daters want to break out of their shell, but just don’t have the balls. They may post a fake photo or lie about their stats, and then realize once the face-to-face date looms near, that they just can’t pull off the lie—or the truth, so they bail out before they’re exposed for who they really are.
4. The online market mentality
Once you’re purchased an item from Amazon.com, how often do you write a review for it, keeping a conversation about a purchase you just made continuous? The same goes for online dating. Once an item (person) is chosen or passed over, a dater rarely keeps their shopping cart at the forefront of their mind while still perusing the aisles. If you passed over that can of creamed corn for real corn, why go back and apologize to it? The deed is already done.
5. It’s not them, it’s you
Sometimes people get too overzealous when it comes to online dating and, instead of letting things progress naturally, they will ramble off everything that happens in their life via email—or worse, text. Some daters can scare off others by offering up too much information at odd hours of the day. There’s an etiquette to dating online that needs to be followed to ensure you don’t frighten off a person you haven’t even met yet.
6. Soften the rejection
According to a recent USA Today article, most younger daters now prefer to communicate over text in the early phase so they don’t have to be bothered with the burden of long communications with someone. As sad as this is considering the goal of dating is actually to meet someone that you communicate with for the rest of your life, it’s created a culture where the connection to your date is tenuous and it’s less stressful to break up over email than have to face the music face-to-face – or simply stop replying. Plus, if that is how the majority of the interactions have happened anyhow, it’s the more natural route.
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